Two Gentlemen of Lebowski

Adam Bertocci imagines my generation’s defining movie, The Big Lebowski, as written by Shakespeare:

WALTERIndeed, a rug of value; an estimable rug, an honour’d rug; O unhappy rug, that should live to cover such days!DONALDOf what dost thou speak, that tied the room together, Knave? Take pains, for I would well hear of that which tied the room together.WALTERDidst thou attend the Knave’s tragic history, Sir Donald?DONALDNay, good Sir Walter, I was a-bowling.WALTERThou attend’st not; and so thou hast no frame of reference. Thou art as a child, wandering and strutting amidst the groundlings as a play is in session, heeding not the poor players, their exits and their entrances, and, wanting to know the subject of the story, asking which is the lover and which the tyrant.

You could nitpick certain phrasings, but overall, holy crap – he did the entire script.

This is awesome.