Jeff Rock:

Ode to JQ5427SUSZ9

Oh how I loved you, JQ5427SUSZ9
Your translucent plastic
Your mirrored chrome
I cradled you in a official overpriced italian leather case
And so, when your battery swelled
And buckled your austere coil
Like a cancer behind your eyes
I wept

Metaphorically, of course

How I remember watching video on your screen
Even though it was comically tiny
Your menus were always a little too yellow
And the physics on your Arkanoid rip-off were totally jacked
It only made me yearn for your Click Wheel™ all the more

But alas, I shall never watch The Office on you again

So return from whence you came, brave spartan of content
Or at least to gazelle.com
Where you’ll be torn apart into smaller pieces yet
And shipped back to China
In shambles

Fret not, little one

For with some luck, JQ5427SUSZ9
You’ll be stripped and melted down
Shipped away and re-cast
And become a miniscule piece of 1000 iPads

And perhaps in that way we shall meet again