Chats
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Kendall: Hey, what do you use to talk to people that have MSN Messenger? Implodr: My fist. I punch them in the stomach and then tell them to contact me on AIM.
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Waitress: What would you like to drink? John Caparulo: Can I have a Coke? Waitress: Oh, is Pepsi okay? John Caparulo: Is Monopoly money okay?
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The First Eskimos
Eskimo Chief: Well, we’ve been walking a while. This looks as good a place as any to settle down. Eskimo: Really? There are no trees or anything and it’s freezing. It’s just ice everywhere. Eskimo Chief: Yup. Pretty good. Eskimo: What will we eat? Eskimo Chief: Ummm….whale, I guess? Yeah, whale. I saw one a…
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TJ: jesus h christ im huge Jay: yeah im getting pretty big myself Jay: eating a lot of Frito-lays TJ: thats real nice. i prefer to dip everything i eat in mayonaise first. its a great way to pack on the weight plus you get to poop like every 45 minutes. Jay: so it’s a…
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12:16 p.m.
MAN: I’m a pretty intelligent fellow, but I’m not sure if I get this one. PLUG: Uh. I’m just excited because I don’t wear this tie anymore. It’s ugly, right? MAN: It’s not exactly attractive. So did you quit a job or something like that? PLUG: No, I wish. I kind of wish I did,…
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Amie: haha witty banter Jay: hahaha witty comment hahaha Jay: i verb noun Jay: i adverb verb noun! Amie: oh adverb
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Willy Wonka: Because he broke the rules. Grandpa Joe: What rules?! We didn’t see any rules, did we, Charlie?! Willy Wonka: Wrong, sir!! Wrong!! Under section 37B of the contract signed by him, it states quite clearly that all offers shall become null and void if – and you can read it for yourself in…
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Mom: So hello Mom: I watched a very funny episode of the simpsons yesterday Mom: Gil was staying with the simpsons because he was out of work Mom: And homer was in his robe talking to gil and gil siad hey homer do you mind closing up that robe i’m seeing the how butchers market…